As Hellen grew up to disover pieces of herself that she had never thought she would unlock. This year has been a journey and I have been delaying to finish this piece because it’s not something Hellen was proud to admit but it’s also not a secret these things happen. Please note that this is a true story and Hellen is not her real name.
Hellen 19 second year in university, was a suger baby and the dynamics she had encountered is not different then any other suger baby. Her curiosity of being a suger baby opened her eyes to know what men she should not be with and men she would like to be with in future.
“It was my first time being a suger baby it was not scary because my suger daddy was 20 years older, he was sweet and treated me to anything I wanted. But because I am a reserved individual I have pride I didn’t ask for what was not needed or wanted.” She said
Eventually she couldn’t make it a norm she couldn’t handle all the rules that come with it.
Rules that were unspoken but written in stone. “He could have access to me anytime. I don’t go out in public with him I usually stayed in the car when he went to get something at the mall.”
“I got bord and I never spoke to him again. Definitely a lesson learned” she said.
“To me it is not a dirty little secret,” she added
These are stories we come across it has become a norm to be a suger baby. Within her peer group as she explains that it would even be a competitive edge to show off what their suger daddy has gotten them or has taken them the past weekend. Unfortunately these situations have their downfalls with the high rates of GBV in South Africa some girls get abused and can’t have a clean break from their suger daddies.
Hellen has now found a partner that is 2years older. She says that she is happy that it was just a phase.