Self destruct

I have been reading up on self destructive behaviour. And I am just in limbo within myself about my self destructive ways. Before I begin story time.

I had a friend he was a cutter. I saw his self destructive ways, I reported it to our teacher at school and he never spoke to me again. I can live with that because his still alive. Now I am in his shoes and I feel like there is no friend like me for me.

Self-destructive behaviour is any deliberate action that has a negative impact on your mind or body.

When having symptoms of self destructive behaviour. It’s not going to be easy to see it. With me on the other hand I am a person that just wants to know what is wrong with me. And I have depression (self diagnoses) and I am seeing the serviette of it. To a point that I abuse alcohol and make crazy decisions.
What I have learnt is that when your body has had enough it will shut down weather it is intended or not.

Self destruct is a way of your subconscious mind crying for help.

Causes would be a death of a parent or someone who looked up to with great love and respect. A traumatic experience at a young age that you could not deal with something in those lines.

I am still in search for a way to solve my self destructive ways.

As a brown female in an old school household they would say that your seeking for attention, your being a cry baby. These types of comments make it hard to want to reach out for help even when you know you have a problem.

Being self destructive can be helped. I just don’t have the answers to how can it be helped. Because it’s seen as an attention seeking tactic.

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